The Awakening of John - Episode 18

“Aren’t you going to invite me round to yours sometime?” Mubina had asked over lunch in the park the following day. The thought of her meeting Bob was exciting and terrifying in equal measure, but his hesitancy earlier in the week hadn’t helped, and he had enthusiastically invited her to come over on the Saturday. He’d mentioned that he had a friend staying and she’d been intrigued by the little he had shared about him.

Bob was delighted by the news and offered to cook. This was a relief to John as he knew that the meal would be safe for Mubina to eat – he didn’t have to worry about what food would be appropriate alongside all his other anxieties. He had agreed to help with the prep and he knew that would give them a chance to talk – and that was adding to his anxiety. He decided to start a conversation on safe ground:

“I’ve noticed that you spend a lot of time doing stuff that you don’t exactly have to – I mean you don’t have to peel the veggies – you don’t even have to cook the food…”

As expected, Bob chuckled – it had gone passed annoying to kind of comforting – and then replied, “Do you enjoy eating?”

“Well, yes, especially when you cook… but the prep, the clear up…”

“I could just place nutrition in your body, save you the trouble of chewing and swallowing…”

“No, that’s fine, thanks, like I say I enjoy… oh, I get it…” Bob chuckled again.

“You’re always so keen to get to a destination, always looking for short-cuts, always focussed on the outcome. But that makes the outcome the important thing and everything else an unnecessary distraction to be avoided if possible.” He paused and looked at John to see how he was taking this, then gently added “You keep treating everything that isn't arrival as failure. But a seed isn't a failed tree.”

“But surely the point is eventually to get the tree?”

“Of course. But if you spend six months staring angrily at the soil because it hasn't produced apples yet, you'll miss quite a lot of life.” He smiled to lighten the impact,

“You want to know where everything leads to before committing to the journey. You want to know whether I think you should marry Mubina – because if not, you think there’s no point. But what if life isn’t a series of tests, a series of goals to be achieved or missed?” He pointed at the bubbling pan of vegetables. “What if it isn’t about some distant banquet, but about preparing the meal with a friend, spending time discovering the depths of a new person?”

John thought for a while “It would be kind of freeing; it would take a lot of pressure off… but how does anything get accomplished – the great commission or whatever?”

“Ah. ‘Go into all the world’. You’ve made it a project, with KPI’s and powerpoints.” He shook his head, then laughed “You turn me into a cosmic General with a detailed strategic plan, placing individuals at certain points, getting them to do specific things.” By now he had put the knife down, he was shaking with laughter. “John, oh John. You don’t mean it I know, but you make me so small – you frame me as being just a bigger version of what you already know. A cosmic general, marshalling the troops.” By now he had sat down on the kitchen stool, tears of laughter streaming down his face. John was utterly bewildered. After he had dried the tears, he came over and clapped John on the back,

“Crossing the finishing line is great, but I’m not waiting there at the end shouting ‘run faster’ and looking tetchily at a watch. I’m running it with you, now – every step isn’t getting you closer to the goal, it’s part of the goal.”

Now it was John’s turn to shake his head. “But that’s how church works! Targets, ministries, programmes, tasks to be done, people to convert…  I mean, I never liked evangelism, but this seems totally… I don’t know…?”

Bob smiled, “I liked what you said about your time with Mubina’s family.”

“What, ‘It felt like being around you’?”

“Yep – I suppose we could theologise it ‘Where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am...’”

“But they weren’t gathered in your name, they were…”

“Being family, loving one another, welcoming a stranger, including him. Sounds a lot like those gospel stories you enjoy – the ones involving food and drink.” He’d resumed chopping veg by now and John was more confused than ever.