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The Awakening of John - Episode 18

“Aren’t you going to invite me round to yours sometime?” Mubina had asked over lunch in the park the following day. The thought of her meeting Bob was exciting and terrifying in equal measure, but his hesitancy earlier in the week hadn’t helped, and he had enthusiastically invited her to come over on the Saturday. He’d mentioned that he had a friend staying and she’d been intrigued by the little he had shared about him. Bob was delighted by the news and offered to cook. This was a relief to John as he knew that the meal would be safe for Mubina to eat – he didn’t have to worry about what food would be appropriate alongside all his other anxieties. He had agreed to help with the prep and he knew that would give them a chance to talk – and that was adding to his anxiety. He decided to start a conversation on safe ground: “I’ve noticed that you spend a lot of time doing stuff that you don’t exactly have to – I mean you don’t have to peel the veggies – you don’t even have to cook the f...
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The Awakening of John - Episode 17

John arrived five minutes early, bearing flowers and chocolates – he had no idea whether these would be a blessing or an offence, but he decided pleading ignorance and or insanity was better than turning up empty-handed. With anxiety at an all-time high, he rang the doorbell. The door was opened by a man – whether an older sibling or father, he had no idea. “John, welcome, come in” then shouting, “Mubina, your fella is here – he brought me flowers and chocolates.” The evening was memorable – filled with laughter, a great deal of affectionate teasing and incredible food. Mubina’s family were quickly disarming which made his early confession so much easier: “Look, I’m going to be honest up-front, I’m ashamed to say I know almost nothing about Islam other than what’s presented on the news...” “Or spoken about in your church?” Mubina’s father asked. “Yes...” John replied hesitantly. “And what will they think about you going out with a Muslim girl?” John nodded, accepting the ques...
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The Awakening of John - Episode 16

The diversion had gone the following morning, but he’d set off in plenty of time, just in case, which meant he arrived even earlier and parked in ‘his’ spot before Mubina arrived. He waited in his car hoping that she would be there at her normal time and his heart raced a little as he saw the car enter the car park. He got out of his just as she got out of hers and walked across to her, holding out a milkshake he’d got from the cafe. She looked surprised to see him and even more by the proffered gift. He took the opportunity to begin his prepared speech. “I’d be really honoured if people thought we liked each other...” she cut him off, “Really? I thought you were scared of being seen with me. I’m not interested in anyone who’s going to run away at the first sign of a roadblock.” “You’re right, but that isn’t why I reacted like I did – I am sorry for how it seemed and for hurting you – that’s the last thing I wanted. Could we maybe have lunch or meet after work so I can explain more?”...
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The Awakening of John - Episode 15

That night, he decided to give it a go: “So, Bob, I tried praying at lunchtime... I guess you know that already...” The soft chuckle seemed to confirm his suspicion, “I liked it – I mean I like all your prayers in different ways, but this was definitely more relational, if not much clearer... I especially liked your impersonation of me responding...” “Yeah, I really didn’t know what to do after I’d finished my bit...” “You did fine, I thought the answer you gave yourself was pretty sound. So, what are you going to do?” “I think I’m going to follow the diversion signs, acknowledge the pothole I created and drive round it...” “Ah, different routes, same destination, nice – there’s a sermon in there for someone...” “Ha ha, yes, I know, plans, not plan. After my prayer at lunch I sat down and read my Bible for a bit. Opened it at random, actually... story of Joseph. You probably know it quite well...” “I do, I especially like the Tim Rice, Andrew Lloyd Webber version...” he b...
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The Awakening of John - Episode 14

John left the flat in a daze. He’d often worried that the plan God had for his life must have long ago been abandoned. After all, God’s plans surely couldn’t have included his sinful choices, so how could he be still on ‘the’ plan. It was confusing, but this new thought that God had plans rather that one fixed plan opened up other possibilities. He was deep in thought on this when he saw the road ahead closed sign. For a moment his mind went blank. ‘But I need to go down that road in order to get to work, therefore the road cannot be closed.’ Yet it was, and traffic was being diverted down a road that he didn’t know. He’d lived here for two years, but the only roads he had used were the one to the office car park or the one to the multi storey when he was late. Now he was being taken down a route he didn’t know. Part of his brain was asking ‘and it’s all very well them saying diverted traffic, but how do they know where I want to get to, how do I know this diversion gets me where I’m m...
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The Awakening of John - Episode 13

John had gone to sleep that night with a conflict raging inside. The answer Bob had given wasn’t an answer, but the pain he felt, the intimate knowledge of what it felt like couldn’t be ignored. At one moment he wanted to hate Bob, at the next, he wanted to share with him his deepest hurt. He fell asleep with both competing for his attention. Breakfast was an exercise in avoiding the big issues, John thought he’d divert by asking “So, Bob, you encouraged me to get to know Mubina, is that because you want me to lead her to Christ or marry her – or both?” Bob rewarded him with one of his deep voiced laughs. “Well, I reckon in different ways you could both ‘lead each other to Christ’ and as for marrying, whose decision is that?” John as usual was unprepared for the answer and the question. He stumbled, “What? I don’t understand, what do you mean we could lead each other – I’ve already...” he trailed off... “... and I guess the couple get to decide, but haven’t you already decided who th...
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The Awakening of John - Episode 12

It was much later before they were able to resume their conversation. They’d both prayed for Trev, John moved by his vulnerability and willingness to share and by Bob’s earnest praying for his peace. It raised even more questions in John’s mind, but he decided to store those for later, and as they washed up the dinner things, he said, “I guess I just don’t buy the original sin stuff. I don’t think I ever have really. I mean, I signed up to it during Alpha and baptismal classes, but deep down I never got it. Maybe that’s why I’ve struggled, maybe that means I’m not really a Christian – but if love really is to do with freedom to choose – I didn’t choose what Eve did – and nor did Claire.” He hadn’t realised how close to the surface the anger still was and surprised himself by punching the wall with his fast wrapped in a tea towel. The pain felt strangely comforting. Bob nodded in assent: “One person’s choice cursing all future generations, condemning them to futility and death, making...
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